The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is Wrong

In this groundbreaking book, renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman shares the surprising science behind why everything you know about relationships is wrong. Based on decades of research with thousands of couples, Gottman has discovered that the key to a lasting relationship is not communication, compromise, or even love. It's something much more surprising and counterintuitive: it's conflict.

Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong

by Eric Barker

4.9 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	1934 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
X-Ray	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	303 pages

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That's right, conflict is not the enemy of relationships. In fact, it's essential for healthy relationships. Conflict allows couples to air their grievances, resolve problems, and grow closer together. The key is to manage conflict in a healthy way.

Gottman has identified four key principles for managing conflict in a healthy way:

1. Stay calm. When you're in the heat of an argument, it's easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment and say things you regret. That's why it's important to stay calm and collected. Take a deep breath and try to see things from your partner's perspective.
2. Listen to your partner. Really listen to what they're saying, both verbally and nonverbally. Try to understand their point of view, even if you don't agree with it. Once you've heard your partner out, then you can share your own perspective.
3. Be respectful. Even when you're disagreeing with your partner, it's important to be respectful of their opinions. Don't call them names or belittle them. Instead, focus on the issue at hand and try to find a solution that works for both of you.
4. Compromise. Sometimes, you're not going to be able to get everything you want. That's okay. The important thing is to be willing to compromise and find a solution that works for both of you.

If you can follow these four principles, you'll be well on your way to managing conflict in a healthy way and building a lasting relationship.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

In addition to the four principles for managing conflict, Gottman has also identified seven principles for making marriage work:

1. Build a strong foundation. This means having a solid understanding of each other's values, beliefs, and goals. It also means being able to communicate openly and honestly with each other.
2. Nurture friendship. Marriage is a partnership, and it's important to nurture the friendship between you and your spouse. This means spending time together, talking to each other, and laughing together.
3. Resolve conflict constructively. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it's how you resolve conflict that matters. Gottman's four principles for managing conflict can help you resolve conflict in a healthy way.
4. Make time for each other. It's easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and forget to make time for each other. But it's important to make time for each other on a regular basis. This could mean going on dates, taking a walk together, or simply spending time talking to each other.
5. Express appreciation. It's important to express appreciation for your spouse on a regular basis. This could mean telling them how much you love them, writing them a love letter, or simply ng something nice for them.
6. Forgive each other. Everyone makes mistakes. It's important to be able to forgive your spouse when they make a mistake. Holding on to anger and resentment will only hurt your relationship in the long run.
7. Never give up. Marriage is a journey, and there will be ups and downs along the way. But it's important to never give up on each other. If you're both committed to making your marriage work, then you can overcome any challenge.

If you follow these seven principles, you'll be well on your way to building a lasting and fulfilling marriage.

Relationships are complex, but they don't have to be difficult. By understanding the science behind relationships, you can learn how to build a lasting and fulfilling relationship with your partner.

The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is Wrong is a must-read for anyone who wants to improve their relationship. In this groundbreaking book, Dr. John Gottman shares the science-based secrets to building a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

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Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong

by Eric Barker

4.9 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	1934 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
X-Ray	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	303 pages

FREE